Brandon: If I win, I get back into Babylon. And what if I lose?
Brian: Then I get into you. (QAF Episode: 507)
A pill box lid opens as I take a Tylenol to protect my head from my hang over. It seems to me that I have had quite a long silence from the last blog. Wake up at 6:00 am to the sounds of 4 alarm clocks twisting my insides, take out puppies if I can wake up or vote to wait until the roomies wake up. Momentary lapses and I go shower 7:15 in my car, fumando. The taste is good in my boca but I realize I have one day to quit and my breath with stink for years. I've quit before, the taste lingers in your mouth. Every so often when you catch the smell of a moment that you enjoyed with a long stick of cancer in a time when you were young and untouchable and your mouth fill with the taste of the ashtray. despertar suenos de fumar. Better not to think about this aqui, no you are parallel parking on the curb. And you start your decent up to work, it is 10 minutos till 8, and you realize you only live 5 min away from work. Your visions go to the night, what did you do. Los besos en una boca, la brasos, su penga. What happened to the idea that I was going to take it slow, as to actually build something worthwhile rather than have some sex fest with someone I care about until I wake up bored and realize that you’re cheating on me? Hello Hailey, big fake smile as I run past la puerta en mi oficina. Get my mind out of the micro world and into the land of the dead, los secreterios. I am a glorified receptionist, I am so effing happy. Run down the day, hour for lunch, a grad class here or there una hora por dinner. I rehearse at 6 with 2 five min breaks and then straight at nine work till 2, get into my car to go to a bed with a man I spent the last two weeks with sleeping next to him want to touch him and not, until last night. I'm a slut, but so was he. We both made that decision. To quote a great band, “I just can't sleep alone..." but is it because of him or me?
I get distracted by el guapo extra. He's talking of nothing important and I don't really thing he needs to do that, better seen not heard. He's blonde, figuratively.
I walk look back on the opening of my shows this week and realize, is this it, is this what I worked so hard for. I am proud of them, but was it worth it after the cups the marmalade the tea, perhaps some talk of you and me.
I sip more coffee and ponder, I am so effing pretentious.
