encontrar el tiempo

I could be a...a REAL man if I wanted to. Y'know, just...stop gesturing with my hands...lower my voice...never NEVER use words like, like "fabulous!" or "divine!"...talk about "nailing bitches" and "RBIs". But I'd rather my flame burn bright than be some puny little pilot light. ~ Emmett from QAF
 

So yeah, celibacy, what a freaking concept. Nothing is fun about it, just fyi.  It is Murphy's law that states that when you bring your umbrella out it will not rain...when you are celibate, it rains men.  Over the past week I have hung out with, or flirted with, or down right almost had sex with 3 men.  Ok, so maybe this is not news to anybody who has a different man every night, but considering I am in rehearsal 5 nights a week right now, working at 7:30 a.m., teaching 2 classes and running around trying to find a new day job.  Needless to say, I shouldn't have time for men at all.  I thought it would be easy this time to give men up.  so I am passed a week am I?  Who knew the man who just wanted sex, not a relationship could stop having sex?  I certainly didn't think this could happen, and yet, I do find myself more focused on work, perhaps because there is so much of it.  Perhaps because I am running around and have to be organized.  Or perhaps, because I am not obsessing over men. 

 

On a lighter note, I am not doing so well with the exercise.  I was waking up every morning meditating, jogging several blocks and then reading.  I had a respiratory infection last week, which is why I spent 2 days in bed.  yuck.  Not fun, and yet I haven't felt the need to exercise.  Perhaps because of the dancing and teaching and general running around, I don't feel I need it.  My gut says otherwise, but meh, since I am not looking for a man perhaps it is ok to let it go for a little while, at least until things settle down.

 

I also feel very gay proud this month.  Working with 2 local chapters of Gay/Straight Alliances I feel very tapped into the "Gay World."  It is pride week.  So it should be a time that I am feeling the pride.  I just realized thought that this means I will not be able to take anyone home for pride...sad day :(  oh well, just cuddle with my dog and figure it out.

 

Till next post.

 

el sexo nuevo

Daphne: Hi, I'm not a lesbian, but I'm a big fan.
episode 106

So I didn't get up and do my meditation today, I know and it gets worse. So last night I was cleaning and I start getting text from someone I think is someone else...glad that wasn't too hard to go with...so needless to say I put on something nice and head over to the local dive and start searching for Miguel. Which btw happy birthday :), however it was not Miguel but a lost boy who I had just posted about last night. We talked, sang horrible karaoke (side note one of my favorite pastimes), played pool and he weird enough wants to be a guru...HA HA HA. Now note although I feel that some people are meant to be a guru, I think his training is not up to par. Even more hysterical is that I have been thinking about celibacy now for a few days. No, no not for life just for a month or 3 to figure things out. So have we figured where this is all leading? Yes I spent the night with him. Now, I will preface this by saying, we did not have sex. I became o drunk I ended up passing out. I know not the smartest thing to do but good because I totally trust him and knew that he would be ok with just cuddling. Which btw Matthew and I had just had a conversation about the day before. Its not so much that I don't want sex, but that I really want good sex. I'm tired of going home with someone having bad, sloppy sex and sneaking out later (which btw I did sneak out this morning but more so that I could get home and not out of shame...ok so a little shame). So now my house is a mess still I'm behind on teaching my class and I'm behind on choreography for my show. so why the hell am I writing? Because its the only thing I can do at this moment. That and to officially motivate myself to write and to create and to get out that I Lestat Oberon am going to be celibate for 3 months. Now masturbation I will say does not count. So yeah, let's see how this experiment goes.

amigos y fuego

Ted: I could fix you up with my sister but she looks like me in a dress...(QAF)

I have been reading a lot lately and wondering about things. I just finished Eat Pray Love and was excited to find someone who shares my thoughts on spirituality, and since the book was a success, realize that many people find this same thoughts on spirtuality :). I have been doing a lot of cleaning out in my life, as I have mentioned earlier, but it seems that like Liz I too have acquired some friends everywhere I go. My family has grown here and I will miss them all. From the lost boys I still hang out with, you know who you are and I love you, to the therapist I have met along the way, I have enjoyed your "couches" and to the unbelievable thinkers. To Matt, for reminding me that I want to love my best friend...even if you aren't the best friend I am suppose to be in love with, but that there is one like you. I am so thankful to my Italy...Spain, to my Rome: Texas I will always love you, but can not live there with you, and to my Bali, Seattle don't fail me when I get there.

To my loves, both sexual and non, I am thankful to you all for many reasons.

To my mistakes, because I have learned and am still learning from you.

And to my dog...may you always bring me as much joy, as you always do...

That's it... just thank you