Justin: Bed rest is an important part of every recovery.
Ted: Thank you, Doogie Howser.
(QAF Season 4)
So no post yesterday, I was not feeling too well. Today, I am better but just not up to par as my usual self. Balance, Balance, I feel that I’m wavering. I feel like the closer I get to getting things in balance the closer I get to not finding that balance I am searching for…Life is interesting, the moment you get it figured out, things change, sometimes for good, other times for bad. I know, I know, I have been speaking in a lot of clichés lately. But really, what is life without them. I’m tired…always now I am tired. I don’t know if it’s me getting older, or the fact that I’ve ran so hard for so many years that now in rest it’s all coming back to me now. Why did I spend so many years running, what was I trying to prove…well for one that I could do acting…was ok at that…that I could be a director…was ok at that…that I could find love…NOT so good at that…that I was living…too soon to tell. Sometimes I feel I was more alive when I was in school, sometimes I feel I was more alive when I was out of school, I often feel I am more alive now, but today, ummmmm not so good. I wished I was better at life, but then again, I think most human’s feel that way. For me today is about getting through, which is the same goal for the month and till May 10th. I don’t know what will change other than finding out some things financially, but that is the goal I am working toward right now. It’s something attainable, which for someone who has attempted the unattainable for so long, is a step in the right direction. I look at my yoga mat, and think, maybe tomorrow…once I feel better…well, the next time I feel better is exactly when I will…maybe…until that day comes…
Lestat
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