El rey de gris

Justin: So that I can tell you what a motherfucking piece of shit you are for not telling me. For shutting me out. For thinking that you can handle this on your own. And most of all for thinking that I would leave. Why would you think that? Because you had a ball removed? Because you're no longer perfect? Well believe me, Mr. Kinney, that is the least of your imperfections. And if I wanted to leave you, I've had better reasons, plenty of them.
(QAF, Episode 407)

When did I become Meredith Grey? So, I did that thing you aren't suppose to do. I did it. he hears the laughs from the peanut galarie and realizes that he must explain which thing. Well, it was many things. I wasn't suppose to kiss him, or sleep with him, or tell him I was falling for him a dramatic pause of gasps you see it all happened so unnaturally...So positively crazily...That we forgot to stop pretending.

It happened last night our Peter Pan attitude shifted. A series of numbers and it was over. 1, 2, 7, 18... The price of the beer, the number of people in love, the number of months that one of the 2 had been in love, the number of beers consumed by 4 wait I left a number out, perhaps for the better. That is right there were 4 people who left the bar together and three that stayed over last night and 2 on couches and one (myself) in bed. What a circle.

I have been loosing weight and gaining inches if that is possible. I stand at 137 a mere 2 pounds till I have my goal weight and I still can't get past the 32 in mark. Now usually I would agree for the small person to shut the eff up, but recently I was 36-38 in and 180 pounds on a frame that was never over 135 and 28 in. I want my last 2 in off. I know I am a bastard. But we covered that in me sleeping with a man who is attached. Thanks, Bitch, table for one, ummmm bye now.

When did it become not so easy to dump a guy, especially one that isn't available. Perhaps, it is because he has treated me better by being with someone else than any single man has treated me before? It is probably true. I am a dreadful bore. Since I feel for a taken man, does that mean in a few years I will go after a wife beater and be the wife???

I have so many questions today and I know none of them can be answered, and in fact I am okay with this.

Finish coffee, spell check, and move on...