Yes, sorry to be so graphic, but I was. When a knock came on my door. You see, last night, I feel horrible about this, my ex-whatever wanted to see me. Well, I was afraid that he would try to have sex with me one last time. Yes, I am that arrogant, but he's tried to have sex with me before, so not completely. I open the door and we have this long wonderful conversation. Why was I so worried? I just never want to leave anything badly. He came in and I knew he was wanting sex, not necessarily from me, but sex (we all have that look in our eyes from time to time). We sat down and he gave me 3 special gifts. Each mean something to me, well at least 2 did. One, a pair of shoes (didn't really mean anything to me). Two, a movie with Elijah Wood in it. I love Elijah Wood, always have, so that was real special and sweet. Then lastly, he brought me a decoration of a lighthouse. He loves lighthouses. They are his favorite thing. He didn't want me to forget him. My heart melted. I remembered why we had been together for so long. We sat and talked about so much. He asked me if I was seeing anyone, and I did use the guy in the previous draft to make sure he knew I was talking with someone so that he wouldn't try sex. But, I think this guy might actually be coming around. We talked about where he was going and my show and when he was going to see it. He wants to meet one of the castmates that I am friends with for a fling. la la la. I think it is great. I wished we could have had more of these conversations. He will be a gay friend I will miss terribly. It is so hard to talk to gay guys as just friends and we now have finally been there and have mastered it. Wow, we grew up.
To let you know of how things are with the castmate previously mention he is turning around. He asked me to go to his alumni homecoming and watch him cheer. How crazy is that? He also told me yesterday that he wants to hang out this week. Maybe, as my good friend told me, he is just so scared this may work out. That he will have to bring me home to mom and dad and tell them this is my boyfriend. Maybe, something is going to come from the sleepless nights and sordid glances.
It is a good time to go to Sweden soon. Hopefully, we will get together on Wednesday or possibly Thursday. We definitely need time, the most precious commodity. Time to be together commune, fellowship. There may not be a ring, but we have been on quite a journey together. Although that journey is coming to an end, we (I hope, I hope, I HOPE) will not. I have loved more in this show than I have in a long time. I have friends who want to be with me and who love me and support me. I have friends who are along with that amazing and talented and fun and beautiful. They have helped me along, and have been true soulmates.
I am going to sign the lease on my apartment today. I have been worried about that. I have been apartment sitting for the summer and I know that the guy is not coming back. I have wanted this apartment for a year. I am so glad I have it now. It does make me sad I am signing a years lease. I hope that Anita and I will be able to live together someday. I love her so much and would love to have her around. But, I do know that there will be an apartment open by me in six months. So, maybe. If not she will be in here in Madrid. She is so wonderful. My other two friends Consuela and Action are thinking of moving to Chicago. I would be so happy for them. But, I am selfish and hope they stay in Sweden for a while (its so close). Just so I can be with them a bit longer. Hopefully, Riff would like to leave Bellesville and come to Madrid or maybe one day come to Barcelona with me. The others, I love so much I hope to see them often. Snowboy lives in Madrid with me and that is a great thing. Hopefully, one day we can all meet again, Somewhere. he he. I am getting so emotional.
My life as a series of moments, I will soon be to the next. Change. The moment of Peace,
Lestat
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