Okay, so I am not the most outwardly manly man. I am very fem and that's okay. I do, however, have outbursts of testosterone from time to time. Point in case, today. My friends battery went dead last night. Not so tragic, I know, but a flamer and a girly girl, you do the math. So, we when to Wal Mart this morning at 5:00 (this is not an ad, although, it does sound like one), and decided we would change it ourselves. Let me tell you, the finding of the battery was not so easy. Well, it is easy, but we had problems. I'll explain them in another life when we are both cats, la la la. Then, after all was said and done, who changed the battery? WE DID!! Yes, it was a very big accomplishment for us. Life is looking better now, in these days of endless mediocrity that have suddenly turned into a joyous celebration of friends. NO!! I haven't been laid, just re-evaluating things. I have always known that I would not find someone in Texas, so why do I meet anyone? I also know that I will not be married until after 30 (and even then it may not be legal still). So what is the big rush in finding someone? It's mainly because I want to cuddle, fight, make up, laugh, cry, and do all that other romantic blah that everyone wants. And that is okay to want, but lately I have found it in friends. Yes, friends do share a bond where we laugh and cry and love (hopefully not sexually, because then you aren't friends, not judging, just saying friends who have sex don't stay friends for long they either end or start a relationship). There is a strong love bond in friends. It is a form of a relationship where a bond is made. Now, you may only have a few of those. Right now I am able to have a few at one time. I love Billie and Rob and Brynne and Ben, those are my relationships right now. Again friendships, but the love is strong and we are protecting each other, nurturing each other, providing for each other, and most importantly enjoying life, something I haven't done in a while. I am so happy with this what do I need with men, other than sex and I can get that anytime, he he. But really, I need to focus more on my needs and the needs of those around me right now. Me first, them second and then worry after I am 40 I can start crying about not being with someone. I have a life to lead and I need to live it. So, today I am embarking on a journey. I know it sounds medievil, la la la. A journey to focus more on the day to day. My old director used to say, "You are right here, right now. This is a moment, this is another. You are perfect, you are being used as a model. . . Focus on right now where you are." I think that is the best advice I have recieved as an actor and in life. This is right now, let me worry about that first, then I will see about tomorrow.
Till then,
Lestat
What can I give you,
Poor as I am,
If I were a shephard,
I would give you a lamb.
If I was a baker,
I'd bake you a tart.
But what can I give you?
I give you my heart.
~I don't know the origins, but thank you Raymond for telling us that every show.
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