21 July 2004

Today

What to talk about?  So much.  I am sure as I write, something will come to me.   I have a friend on this site who I love to read.  So now I am going to start writing mine.  To link to my friends site, http://lesstraveledby.blogspot.com, go check it out sometime.  Sex, what a many splendid thing, unless you aren't having it.  How unhappy it makes you when you you don't get it.  okay, so we all know that...I will stop with the pity party.  So, let's talk about what happens when you haven't had sex in a while. You become a bit like a movie I was watching last night, He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not.  Just going to tell you, read no more if you don't want spoilers, not that many will watch this French film.  You become a erotomaniac.  Which is to say that you become delusional and start to imagine that the men you love are in love with you and that you have a life together.  Okay!!!  So my disease is not as bad as in the movie.  No, I don't think the man I like is in love with me, BUT I keep having some kind of symptoms.  I get nervous when he's around, I get flirty, I plan the next move and soon I am thinking of where the date is going to be.  I know this is wrong, rule number one of being in a show, don't date or f*** any of your co-stars.  However, this is not in a professional environment like usual, so why not.  Is it my projection disease, that I just assume everyone will like me?  No, wait I don't have that self-confidence.   Everyone knows we like each other, but nothing is coming of anything.  Now, many of my friends don't think I am in the wrong, because he has giving me affection, flirtation, hell even full on "I like YOU" messages in return.  So what is his disease, lack of commitment with a spoonful of scared sh*tless.  Okay there I have said it.  And I feel better.  Maybe one day he will admit it and will be able to beg me for my forgiveness, because that is all he will get.  Well, I guess I did have something to say.

with love,

lestat

my father gathers wool,
my mother shuttles yarn,
but I am a weaver of dreams.
maggie miller


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