Diatribas y delirios

Giving yourself some time. Something that is very important to me now, but was not before.

Before:

Rushing, flowing, chaos. This was what spurned my creativity and still in many ways does. I would push through all night if it took to get to where I needed to go. Finalizing things as I went and working towards a huge goal of getting the job done. I think that this was one of my greatest gifts. As the great Anne Bogart once said, "I give myself from the back of the theatre to the front of the stage to figure out the problem." I think this is one of the most important lessons I learned in theatre. The moment of now, deciding in that second. Seeing that things created on the spot were 90% of the time better and more natural than creating a huge experience that doesn't work, because you have to change that inevitably.

Now:

I feel like I plan more and watch more. Which has its strength with structure it is much more easy to make those changes. Create something knew. Being open to change, but planning for the future. My problem with the before is that I was using the spontaneity before the planning. Now, I am planning before the spontaneity.

Which is better?

Future:

Hopefully a healthy dose of both.

I hope, which is all I have right now.

Sorry another throw up of the mouth blog, something I am needing to do in writing right now.

I am searching through the tunnel for a ray of light. See you guys when I come out.

Lestat

Ameliorate: to make better to improve.

I wish to ameliorate myself.